If you’re a parent, you would have read about 1,001 articles and
about a few dozen books on how important it is for kids today
have confidence. Confidence says everything. When kids have
confidence, they will learn better, they dare to go for things
they believe in and they dare to make mistakes and learn from
them.

Regardless of how much it all sound like hogwash (I know some
people from the old school of thought sure thinks that
confidence is OVER-RATED), when you have confidence in
something, someone…yourself, you dare to forge ahead and take
roads no one have ever taken before. This is not something hard
to understand so, I won’t go into it yet again on how to raise
kids with healthy self-confidence. I think Dr. Miriam Stoppard
has done a credible job in telling you how to build confidence
in kids.

Now, how about adults? If you’re like me, you’re raised by
parents who, essentially, belong to the old school of thought.
Let’s just summarize what ‘old school of thought’ means. People
from the old school of thought basically focus on repetition and
obedience. The more you obey, the better. The less you speak up,
the better person you will be. In the old school of thought,
confidence ranks right below finishing off every piece of
scrambled egg on your plate.

TO be fair to my parents, I didn’t get my rebellious nature from
nowhere. I got it, I think, from my dad. He didn’t conform to
the norm, neither do I. So, I am raised by 1 old school of
thought and 1 rebel. The rebel of those days is today’s hero.
They had the confidence of telling people off whenever they were
wrong, instead of keeping quiet and hoping that someone else
will tell the person off. So, in actual fact, people who had
confidence are rebels today! Amazing, isn’t it?

If you are one of those with low self-confidence level, it’ll
show in the way you speak, the way you walk and through your
entire body language. It doesn’t take a genius to figure this
one out, Your body is controlled by your mind. And if you don’t
have confidence in your mind, your body behaves that way.
Everyone around you will react in a certain way towards you
because of the way you behave. For example, people with low
self-confidence level, you will usually pull your shoulder back,
you hang your shoulders, your head will droop forward and you
will tend to shuffle between one foot and the other.

You no longer have the opportunities like your children have.
For kids, in order to build self-confidence, you provide them
with a secure, supportive and understanding environment. You
praise them when praise is due and you offer constructive
criticisms in order for them to improve themselves. You no
longer have that because you’re an adult. So, you’re going to
have to learn how to do this yourself.

Relax and de-stress. People with low confidence level are often
people who are stressed out. They’re so harsh and strict on
themselves that they tend to bring their own self-confidence
down without anyone else helping them to! So, the first thing
you will need to do is to relax and de-stress in the
evening….after work or three times a week. Whatever works for
you. Yoga is good, you can try that if you want. Self-hypnosis
is fab too. But if you don’t have a budget for all those fancy
classes, switch on some relaxing music and just sit there, with
your legs cross, concentrate of breathing. Focus on every single
breath you take and feel the anger and the confusion dissipate
with every single breath you exhale.

It’s going to feel a little bit awkward in the beginning, but
after a couple of tries, I am sure you will get this right.

Focus on the positive Take a good look at a book entitled ‘A
woman in your own right’ by Anne Dickson. The book will teach
you how to acquire skills that helps you focus on the positive
side of things even in the most adverse situations. The author
takes you on a ride of self discovery and adventure that will
help you find extremely simple and practical solution to living
life with full confidence.

Let’s also look at things this way, you can’t lack confidence in
EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of your life! If you’re not confident in
front of an audience, let’s focus on your behind-the-scene
skills. If you’re not a good speaker, let’s focus on your
writing skills. Whatever you lack confidence in, drive your
focus AWAY from the subject matter. And then refocus your
attention on whatever that is that you’re good at.

Mingle around Even if you’re not a social butterfly (very few of
us are actually BORN social butterflies), in an effort to build
your own self-confidence level, you should consider attending
more parties and mingling around with the crowd. If you’re
successful, congratulate yourself and give yourself a presence.
If your self-confidence level shows, try again at the next
party. Do NOT give up until you’ve successfully mingles around
with at least 5 strangers at one party.

Paying attention to your health and looks I know it sounds
corny. The desperate housewife seeks attention from others
because she lacks self-confidence…blah blah blah. But it’s not
all hogwash. It’s true. The more attention you pay to the way
you look, the more confident you become. You don’t have to be a
supermodel to look good. The way you dress, coordination of
outfits, hair, makeup, accessories, your body language…they say
a lot about you…about your self confidence level.

Go ahead and try to be as gorgeous as you want.

Exercise They say it all the time and I am beginning to sound
like a broken record. Go exercise and you’ll feel a boost of
energy that you won’t believe you are capable of. Trust me, I am
talking from experience. People tell me to go join a gym and I
will feel better and I say, “Go get a life! I don’t need a gym
to feel alive!”

But you know what? It’s true. After all of that, I have to eat
my words. Joining a gym changed my life – it changed me from
inside out. I feel livelier, I have energy, I walk faster, talk
louder, speak with more confidence. And it all adds up, like a
layered cake.

Conclusion I know it sounds either impossible or not
necessary…but trust me, it will do you a world of good. When
you’re more confident, you’re capable of achieving much more
than you can imagine. Why give a half-hearted effort at living?
Give it your all, right

Marsha Maung
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/adults-building-self-confidence-2481.html