My husband and I split up over 2 years ago. He is unfortunately too cheap to file for divorce however he has our almost 4 year old son. Over the years we have both moved on. I am going to do the the Self Help divorce and custody but my question is can I just leave the custody the way it is now? He has him but we have a mutual custody arrangement if you will. Both of us are satisfied with the way it is now. Now before anyone goes making rude comments he does NOT have sole custody of him and I am NOT saying I don’t want my son. I lost my job a year ago and cannot find work at the moment. Trying to live off unemployment is impossible and I cannot solely take care of my son.
Now that that is said is there a way to file for divorce without changing the custody situation? As of right now we both make decisions on him, we both pay equal amounts for clothes, food etc for him and whether he is with me or his father he has a roof over his head. He is not in any danger at all as my husband is a great father just a horrible husband. So if it’s mutual on the situation now what do I have to do in court?
I suggest you go to a mediator. If you both agree on mostly everything, even custody, then a mediator can hammer out the details, put it in an order and have it sent to the court house for a judge to sign, although some states require that you still go before a judge and read the agreement into the record, but that’s it. As long as what you wrote is legal then it should be pretty quick and you won’t have to involve a lawyer. Call your local mediators. If you can’t find some in your area call the court house and ask for a list or a suggestion.
August 1st, 2010 at 12:47 am
I believe a Judge (Court) still has to sign off on this.
See the links below.
You need an attorney.
Reference this site for free legal advice. I ran across this site when I was looking for legal advice. It is free and has real / licensed lawyers. Don’t forget, lawyers will meet with you for an initial meeting for free. Also, nowadays, many lawyers will make arrangements with you for payments on a weekly, bi-weekly basis. Don’t forget, licensed professionals, like everyone else, are having a hard time making ends meet. They are willing to work with you.
Just get out your telephone book and start calling them (if you don’t want to check out the site).
Peace.
☺♥☻
References :
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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DadsHouse/links/Dads_House_Manual_001277514301/
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http://www.lawguru.com/
August 1st, 2010 at 12:53 am
you don’t say where you’re from and this can have a large impact on the answer to the question.
in the part of canada i’m in you could do up a separation agreement with special clauses for custody and child support and that would be sufficient. however, not everywhere is like that.
References :
August 1st, 2010 at 1:43 am
I suggest you go to a mediator. If you both agree on mostly everything, even custody, then a mediator can hammer out the details, put it in an order and have it sent to the court house for a judge to sign, although some states require that you still go before a judge and read the agreement into the record, but that’s it. As long as what you wrote is legal then it should be pretty quick and you won’t have to involve a lawyer. Call your local mediators. If you can’t find some in your area call the court house and ask for a list or a suggestion.
References :
By the way GOOD FOR YOU, men can make great fathers even if they were bad husbands. It is so great you can be an adult about this and really do what is best for your kid! WAY TO GO!!!! (My husband has custody of his son from a previous relationship)